The Indispensable Woman
Publisher: Bantam Doubleday
Summary: In this positive, reassuring, and groundbreaking
book, Ellen Sue Stern offers more than a quick fix to women-and
men-whose destructive behavioral patterns are undermining them
and their most important relationships. Through case studies,
self-tests, and a step-by-step recovery program, you will learn
how to relinquish control and codependence, let go of guilt and
break the pattern of indispensability so that you can focus on
what's most important in your life.
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU'RE AN INDISPENSABLE WOMAN?
1. Do you live by a list?
2. Do you take on more than you can comfortably handle?
3. Is it hard for you to ask for and accept help and support?
4. Do you look more "together" than you feel?
5. Do you find it difficult to sit still and do nothing?
6. Do you believe that other people don't realize how hard you
work and how much you do?
7. Are you chronically tense, frazzled, and exhausted?
8. Is it hard for you to appreciate your accomplishments because
you're worried about the next thing on your list?
9. Is it easier to do it yourself?
10. Do you secretly believe that no one can do the job as well,
as fast, and as efficiently as you?
Contemporary women face the daunting challenges of using our
energy wisely, balancing family and career, and giving of ourselves
without giving ourselves away. Like Kate Reddy in Alison Pearson's
best selling novel, "I Don't Know How She Does It,' we run
ourselves ragged juggling so many competing demands that we run
the risk of compromising our physical health and emotional and
spiritual well-being. Finding balance is an ongoing process of
redefining our bedrock values and most critical priorities. When
we hold ourselves to high standards, we make a commitment to reach
for our highest vision of what's possible. When we make ourselves
indispensable, measuring ourselves against impossibly perfectionist
ideals, we squander our energy and lose sight of our deepest sense
of purpose and meaning.
CRITICAL PRAISE FOR THE INDISPENSABLE WOMAN
"Indispensable for women who want
to recover." Anne Wilson Schaef, "Meditations
for Women Who Do Too Much"
"A hard look at the problem of
indispensability and perfectionism in women. An enlightening read."
Melody Beattie, "Codependent No More"
"Practical, helpful and insightful.
The codependent woman's guide to building a recovery."
Patrick Carnes, "Don't Call It Love"
"Offers a compassionate response
to the compulsive doing that often seems to drive women today."
Susie Orbach, "Fat Is a Feminist Issue"
"Ellen Sue Stern writes with empathy
and wisdom...I recognize on these pages a passionate ally to my
generation of women. One feels, on turning the last page, like
writing to the author and thanking her for the reminder that life
is full of work and responsibility and, oh, yes, joy."
Mary Kay Blakely, "Wake Me When It's Over"
* Check out Ellen Sue Stern's keynotes and workshops
on balancing work and family and on overcoming indispensability.
* Check out "Running On Empty: Meditations for
Indispensable Women"-Ellen Sue Stern's best selling
daily companion for women who make themselves indispensable.