Ellen Sue Stern Author Speaker Relationship Expert Writing Coach Books

A Companion for Women Beginning the Journey of Motherhood

Title: Reflections For New Mothers

Summary: A woman's life changes forever when she gives birth. Each day brings unanticipated joys and challenges. The 365 daily reflections in this book-complete with words of wisdom from such varied sources as Dr. Spock, Anna Quindlen, and Fran Lebowitz-illuminate the new mother's path and help her celebrate all the miracles along the way. You'll find reassurance, inspiration, and laughter as you explore your new role, witness your baby's growth, and try to meet your family's needs-and your own needs, too.

Review: Reviewed by Kristan Ginther

(FeatureSource) Women receive plenty of advice when they become mothers. Whether the advice was requested or not, first-time moms hear how to put their newborns to sleep, how to get them back to sleep, what to feed them, and dozens of other opinions.

But what they rarely receive is inspiration. ìReflections for New Mothers,î by Ellen Sue Stern, remedies this imbalance. Stern focuses on the emotions and trials of being a rookie in the mothering game. She has previously written ìReflections for Newlywedsî and ìReflections for Expectant Mothers.î Her perceptiveness continues with the momentous subject of parenthood.

ìReflections for New Mothersî is divided into 365 reflections ó one for each day of a childís first year ó that detail the overwhelming joy, crushing stress and sheer amazement that results from becoming a mother. Each reflection comes with an affirmation that lets new mothers know that they are not alone and that they are going to make it.

The individual reflections range from such simple matter as ìLullabiesî to such heavy topics as ìMartydom.î By presenting a full spectrum of concepts, Stern emphasizes that no topic is too big or too small for the new mother to confront.
For example, a weighty reflection on ìFearî includes Sternís admission that she was terrified when she became a mother and that ìitís a bit of a shock when it sinks in that the baby is actually yours and definitely here to stay.î But when writing about ìForgetfulness,î Stern relieves stressed mothers by stating that forgetting other things is ìyour maternal instinctís way to make sure you focus all your attention on the baby.î

Her affirmations are simple phrases that are far from simplistic. Stern boils each situation down to its essential truth. So a reflection on ìInfluenceî ends with the affirmation that ìI have guardianship, not ownership, of my child.î Such straightforward affirmations keep the book on track, and the tone never veers into preaching or rigid advice.

In this vein, rather than present myriad contradictory solutions to a crying or colicky baby, Stern offers words of comfort to help the new mom deal with these inevitable crises. And affirmations like ìBeing a good driver keeps me and my baby safeî impart their points without intimidating the reader.

Along with Sternís observations, each reflection includes a quote from a child-care expert or parent on that topic. It is no surprise to see authorities such as Dr. Spock and Bill Cosby quoted, but including P. J. OíRourke and Moliere shows that Stern has searched beyond the obvious to keep her readers involved.

Those readers will primarily be new mothers, who will find the book to be a source of encouragement and renewal. However, new fathers can also learn from Sternís writings. And there is at least one statement that friends of the new parents will be glad to hear: ìAffirmation: I can start a conversation that isnít about the baby.î
Stern offers tiny parcels of wisdom, doled out once a day. And those days are not the stuff of an insignificant year. They are the first year of a childís life. ìReflections for New Mothersî takes this mission seriously, and it produces eloquent results.

Meditation Can Bring New Mothers Peace of Mind

(Feature Source) Postpartum depression affects nearly 20 percent of new mothers. It usually occurs in the first two weeks to six months after the baby is born. One way to prevent postpartum depression is to focus on the positives of being a new mother.
"It's important that new mothers don't become overwhelmed and lose the excitement of the child's birth amidst all the stress of having a baby," says Ellen Sue Stern, author of "Reflections for New Mothers" (Meadowbrook Press). After giving birth many mothers experience anxiety and low self-esteem. They may lack confidence in their parenting ability. One way to overcome these feelings of inadequacy is through meditation."

Here are a couple of meditation reflections, followed by affirmations that Stern offers in her book, "Reflections for New Mothers."

Emotions
Awed. Overwhelmed. Flooded with tenderness that you never imagined. None of these words entirely describes the waves of emotion you feel as you cradle your baby in your arms. Such deep and boundless love. Such passionate commitment. And so much at stake. Although you may tell your child how much you love him every day for the rest of your life, it's impossible to convey completely the pure emotional intensity experienced in the early weeks of motherhood. Invest in a journal and try to express your feelings now, while they're fresh. Or write a letter to your child, one that will serve as a keepsake of the first precious days of your life together. Affirmation: I love you more than words can say.

Personal Growth
You're not born with the feelings or the skills that are necessary to be a good mother. You have years - in fact, your whole lifetime - to become a better, more effective parent. You learn from your mistakes, from reading and talking to parents, and mostly from spending time getting to know your child. As you come to know your child - what each cry means, her likes and dislikes, her idiosyncrasies - you get better and better at giving her what she needs. And as your skills grow, so does you love. With each passing year your child becomes dearer and dearer to you, and you become more confident in your ability to nurture and guide. You're already a better parent than you were two weeks ago. And you'll be a better parent two months from now and two years from now. But that is only if you are willing to grow on the job.
Affirmation: I have the rest of my life to become the parent I want to be.

THE PERFECT NEW BABY GIFT!

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