Strengthen your relationship and reconnect with your partner using the Relationship Tool Kit: Ellen Sue Stern’s Building Blocks for Greater Intimacy (Running Press; Spring 2003)

This innovative and interactive workshop-in-a-box is designed for committed couples who want to nourish their partnership and create a higher vision for their union. Created as an at-home workshop for couples, The Relationship Tool Kit comes complete with: a 96-page workbook, a CD with guided imagery exercises, custom-ready Relationship Blueprint, Barter Cards, Thank-you Notes, Sand Timer, and a plethora of sexy games and tools prescribed for the “common colds” of even the best relationships.

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The Relationship Tool Kit will help you and your mate:

•Rediscover why you love one another.
•Get a clear idea of what is and isn't working in your relationship.
•Figure out how to make your relationship your first priority even when other pressures demand your attention.
•Get anger and resentment out on the table without pushing each other away
•Learn simple, easy, and inexpensive ways to make your partner feel appreciated
•Learn how to understand each other better, accept each other more, and change the things you thought you couldn’t change.

"The Relationship Tool Kit is an intimacy workshop you can do in the comfort of your own home. It is the perfect antidote for busy couples who are stressed out, fun deprived, and interested in getting closer without getting into traditional therapy or couples’ counseling,” says author, Ellen Sue Stern, “Life is hard enough, especially in these troubling times, without spending lots of time, money, and energy digging into the deepest issues that couples struggle with,” she adds. Her revolutionary alternative offers an easy, loving, and lighthearted way to build on what’s working well in relationships-without ever leaving home.

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Q & A with Author Ellen Sue Stern
The Relationship Tool Kit
Ellen Sue Stern's Building Blocks for Greater Intimacy

Q: What does the Relationship Tool Kit offer that is different from other self-help relationship books?

A: To begin with, the Relationship Tool kit isn’t a book--it’s a workshop in a box that includes a workbook, worksheets, a CD, custom-ready blueprint, a small hourglass, thank you notes, barter cards and more.  It is totally original, the first of its kind product designed so that couples can explore their relationship in the privacy of their own home and on their schedule. It is unique in several other ways: The exercises are fun and provocative, carefully crafted so that couples can gain insight and strengthen their partnership without getting bogged down in serious issues. In fact, it plays more like a game than therapy or marriage counseling, which makes it more appealing to men, who may be resistant to “working” on problems. Right on the package are the words: “For $24.99 you will never have to hear the words, “Honey, let’s talk,” again,” and I stand by my promise!
This is another way in which the Relationship Tool Kit is unlike other self-help products. After writing 17 books directed at women, I am thrilled to offer tools for both men and women--and yes, the word “tool” is quite intentional. When I began creating the Relationship Tool Box, I realized it needed to be male-friendly, using language and metaphors that men understand, for example, drafting a blueprint, trading barter cards, filling a toolbox, etc. It was also important to me that it include concrete, hands-on exercises, each timed so that the entire workshop can be completed in four to six hours (broken up or in separate sessions), another plus, both for busy couples and for men who need assurance that the process has a clear cut time frame--a beginning, a middle, and most importantly, an end! Perhaps the most unusual features of the Relationship Tool Kit is its emphasis on the positives--what’s working rather than what’s broken-- and on how much ground is covered, including appreciation, partnership, forgiveness and commitment, while being fun and playful, sort of a relationship “spa experience” in which couples can sit back, relax and get to know each other better.

Q: Who would benefit from The Relationship Tool Kit?

A:  The Relationship Tool Kit is valuable for committed couples who want to have a stronger and sexier relationship. It is not targeted to relationships in danger of breaking-up, (watch for the Relationship Repair Kit); it’s for couples who are basically happy together, but feel their relationship could use a tune up for any of these reasons: They may feel that their relationship is becoming stale or boring,  dealing with day-to-day pressures is causing their relationship to take a backseat;   pent up resentment is getting in the way of intimacy; feeling frustrated or taken for granted; wanting to improve their sex life; and yearning for greater intimacy.

Q: What can be improved in a relationship by using the kit?

A:  Couples will definitely get a clearer idea of what is working well in their relationship and what aspects could use some attention.  They will rediscover why they love each other and why they're together.  By using the exercises in the kit, couples can also figure out how to make their relationship the first priority even when other pressures demand attention.   They can learn simple and inexpensive ways to make their partner feel appreciated and best of all, enjoy more satisfying and frequent lovemaking.

Q: Why is The Relationship Tool kit something that couples can look forward to using?

A:  It’s fun and it works! Women are tired of “doing all the work in their relationship” and men are more than ready to step up to the plate. I can see couples standing in the check-out line at Home Depot and throwing in the Relationship Tool Kit along with the paint thinner and power saw. Men may be from Venus and Women from Mars, but ultimately couples need to find common ground and work together to build a rewarding relationship based on partnership and mutual respect.